


Full Circle

by TsundereShipper



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: "Husband" my ass!, Akito healing and being healthy and having friends, Also Saki is a Lesbian, Another-verse, Because I love you Takaya but Akito really should've had a daughter, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Lesbian!Saki, M/M, Post-Canon, Queer Themes, Trans Female Character, Trans!Shiki, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22295452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsundereShipper/pseuds/TsundereShipper
Summary: Truly Akito had come full circle.Snippets of Akito's journey towards Motherhood. Written for the LGBTnet Fruits Basket Secret Santa 2019.
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou, Implied Megumi/Hiro, Kuramae Mine/Sohma Ayame, Saki Hanajima/Mosca, Shiraki Mayuko/Sohma Hatori, Sohma Akito/Sohma Shigure, basically all the canon couples
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25
Collections: Giving and Receiving: A Fruits Basket Exchange





	Full Circle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SunMoonAndSpoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunMoonAndSpoon/gifts).



“…Are you sure Hatori?”  
  
“Positive Akito-san, you’re pregnant.” The former Dragon but still current standing physician of the Sohma family delivered the news in his usual stoic manner, however there was a hint of a glimmer of worry in his eyes as he could imagine just how his former God would react to the news. Though it now seemed like an eternity it wasn’t that long ago that this currently refined and dignified woman before him would subject the whole household to temper tantrums the likes of which would rival the greatest of hurricanes, of which he frequently took it upon himself to shoulder the brunt of it.  
  
He’d be right. A gazillion thoughts were racing through Akito’s head as she took in the news. Her? A Mother? Never in a million years could she imagine…  
  
 _What if I hurt the baby? What if it hates me? What if I end up feeling jealous of it? What if I end up like her? What if? What if? What if? What if…?_  
  
Motherhood wasn’t suited for people like her, people who hurt, abused and grew up in a world of darkness. They were suited for people like Tohru, (who Akito was pretty certain if you looked up in a dictionary would have the definition of “mother” right there next to her name as several of her former Zodiac could attest to) warm, loving, nurturing _women_.  
  
She was barely learning how to be a _woman_ , how could she make the leap to _mother?!_  
  
As if having read her thoughts Hatori sighed and reached out to gently touch her hand in reassurance.  
  
“You know Akito-san there are options… If you feel you aren’t ready you don’t have to carry the baby to term. You’re still early on, barely a month in from what it looks like. You still have time.”  
  
“Options… are you suggesting _abortion_?!” Akito nearly flinched.  
  
“It’s a perfectly valid option if one isn’t ready to be a parent, I suggest talking it over with Shigure first since he should really be apart of this decision making process as your husband, but it’s still ultimately _your_ body and thus your choice to make as a woman. Even though I love Kinu and am eternally thankful for her, I know that if Mayu wasn’t ready to be a mother and chose to terminate, I would have supported that decision one thousand percent. It’s important not to feel pressured or rushed into parenthood, the healthiest and most ideal way to bring a child into the world is when _you_ feel ready, not anything or anyone else.”  
  
 _He must have heard all the badgering from the maids wondering when I’m going to finally bear the next heir.  
  
_ Noticing her frown as she looked down at her skirt and that professional opinion didn’t seem to be helping, Hatori shook his head. “Regardless, you really should let Shigure know about this before anything. You don’t have to decide right away, you still have time. Talk it over with him and see what he thinks.”

“Haaa-sannn~ I’ve come to bring good tidings!” Came a too chipper and all too well-known annoying voice _  
  
“_ Speak of the devil, the headache returns …” Hatori deadpanned, groaning as he massaged his temple.  
  
Shigure skipped into the Doctor’s office cheerily. “Is Mayu-chan in? You do know how I so love to annoy that cute wife of yours, oh you know I just ran into Kinu-chan on the way here! She’s getting so big, how old is she now, 6? 7? You know she wants to start reading one of my novels from days gone past, and who am I to deny showing her the past fruits of her uncle Shi-chan’s labors~”  
  
“I would ask you to kindly not corrupt my daughter with your filth and for the last time leave my wife alone!”  
  
“B-But Haa-san, ever since I quit writing and I no longer have Mitchan to play with I’ve been so boreed~ I have to get my entertainment from _somewhere_!” Shigure whined, doing one of his best former puppy-dog impressions.  
  
“How about instead of incessantly badgering me and my family you spend all that newfound free-time doing your job as your wife’s personal assistant and co-head, you know, whom you quit your job _for_?” Hatori replied sarcastically.  
  
“Speaking of said wife…” Akito piped up, giving Shigure what looked to be the evil eye.  
  
Finally noticing his wife was in the room, Shigure quickly dropped the playful act and replaced it with his usual characteristic sardonic smirk.  
  
“Ah, Akito-san! I had received word that my dear wife would be going out today but I did not think this would be the place she’d be, keeping secrets from me again are we?”  
  
Over the years they had reconciled Akito had learned to recognize that tone all too well, that infuriating cryptic smile Shigure seemed to always wear didn’t reach his eyes as his words were cold and scathing, the atmosphere seemed to be turning dark.  
  
It took a few minutes before it dawned on Akito what exactly he was implying and she immediately turned beet red in embarrassment.  
  
“G-Get your mind out of the gutter you pervert, how dare you insult me _and_ Hatori like that! I’m your _wife_ , what kind of husband automatically jumps to the conclusion that his wife is committing infidelity, have you so little trust in me?!  
  
“Gee Akito-san, I don’t know maybe it’s because a little birdie by the name of Kureno already destroyed what trust I had.” Shigure replied mockily.  
  
Akito looked genuinely taken aback and hurt, she hadn’t heard that name in ages, she thought they were finally past all that.  
  
“That old story again? How long are you gonna hold that over my head Shigure? I made a _mistake_ okay?! And I had _thought_ that I apologized and that we were going to start anew when we agreed to marry but it looks like I’m the only one capable of not holding a grudge, besides it’s not like I’m the only one that misbehaved here, or does the term mother _fucker_ mean anything to you?!”  
  
That, finally rendered Shigure silent.  
  
“I swear I have been faithful to you from the moment I took my vows and confessed my love, how could you even begin to doubt that?!” Tears were starting to prick at Akito’s eyes, fuck she was getting overemotional and letting her temper get the best of her again… And she was supposed to be a mother when she was still such a mess like this? Yeah, right!  
  
“Then why, pray tell, did you take a little trip to Hatori’s without informing me, your _husband_?” Shigure folded his arms, still eying her suspiciously, making sure to place special emphasis on the “husband” part.  
  
“BECAUSE I’M PREGNANT YOU **IDIOT**!!!!!!!!!”  
  
Only after a few seconds of dead silence did Akito finally realize what she blurted out in the midst of her explosion and quickly covered her mouth, falling to her knees in shame as she began sobbing.  
  
 _Shit, shit, shittt… I blew it, we were supposed to talk this over calmly and rationally and I just suddenly lose it and blurt it out like that!? Why can’t I ever seem to do anything right? Maybe Ren is right about me…  
  
_ Shigure’s cool and cold expression suddenly gave way to one of genuinely surprised worry as he slowly approached down to Akito’s level and embraced her without a second thought, allowing her to sob into his shoulder; there were no words needed.  
  
“…How long have you known?” He whispered softly into her hair while gently stroking it.  
  
“I- _*hic*_ I had been feeling unwell for a few weeks now… the reason why I had been getting out of bed early so much lately was because I’ve been locking myself in the bathroom having vomiting episodes, I can’t seem to keep anything down, and it’s especially bad during the mornings! _*hic*_ F-Finally while I was on my way to a meeting one of my attending maids made note that i-it had been quite awhile since I last got my period… _*hic*_ she asked me when I last had it… th-that’s when I realized and immediately rushed over to see Hatori who confirmed it… *hic* Uggh I HATE THIS!!” Her sobs suddenly turned into screams of frustration as she muffled her yells with Shigure’s shirt.  
  
Shigure immediately turned to Hatori, “Haa-san, how far along is she?”  
  
“I’d say about a month, probably not even that. There are still options if you want to do something about it.”  
  
Akito flinched in Shigure’s arms, there was that word again, “options” --- _“abortion.”_ Talk of getting rid of it with such cold, logical analysis--- it. The baby, _her_ baby…! Maybe her one last chance at a redemption, her one last hope of getting the chance to build and be a part of a warm and happy family, the family she never had but always _wished_. All around her she had seen her former Zodiac members rise from the ashes and being able to build happy homes filled with warmth, joy and laughter, Hatori with Mayu and Kinu, Tohru and Kyo with Hajime, Ayame and Mine with their Hibika and now newborn baby Chizuru… and now maybe her _too_? After the sins she committed could she even hope such a future was in store for her?  
  
Call it maternal instinct or whatever else all Akito knew in that moment was that she wanted this baby, all her fears be damned!  
  
“NOOOOOOOOO---! DON’T GET RID OF IT, DON’T GET RID OF MY BABY!” She leapt out of Shigure’s arms, cradling her stomach protectively.  
  
Shigure and Hatori looked upon her with confusion.  
  
Akito blushed, realizing she had overreacted again. (Dammit, she’ll need to quit doing that if she wanted to be a mother!) “I-I mean… I think… I think I want it. …I _want_ the baby, yes I do, _I do_!” She blurted out, but then immediately took a moment to take a deep breath and calm herself, regaining control of the situation.  
  
 _Remember Akito, act dignified, ladylike, like the Head of a clan would, You’re going to be a mother for Christs sake! You have to prove you can handle this!_  
  
“I-I’m sorry… I guess talk of abortion… it… well… it reminded me of my own situation and what _she_ had originally threatened…”  
  
Hatori and Shigure nodded in understanding, of course this would be a triggering subject for her, after all she was this close to never being born if it hadn’t been for her father, Akira’s intervention and him acquiescing to Ren’s demands to raise her as a male. Talk of abortion must have hit a little too close to home.  
  
“It’s okay we still have time; we don’t have to decide all this right away. Come, let’s talk this over at home Akito.” Shigure cooed in a soothing voice, holding out his hand for Akito to take if she wanted to, smiling one of his rare, but fully genuine smiles.  
  
Akito nodded, taking his hand and snuggling into his chest again, using his body like a blanket of protection from the world and the reality around her. “I’m sorry…” she murmured into him softly.  
  
“And I’m sorry too,” he replied while kissing her forehead. “Looks like I really did jump to conclusions, perhaps I really should see someone about that grudge forming habit of mine, it seems I really do have a nasty tendency of being unable to let things go.” He sighed.  
  
 _And this man’s going to be a father…? Lord help us all._ Hatori cleared his throat, giving both halves of the loving couple a pointed look.   
  
“I’m still here you know…  
  
“Ah, Haa-san! So sorry to have to involve you in our Soap-Opera like drama again, but when it comes to me and Akito when is there ever a moment _without_ drama? Ahaha-haaa… Anyways I thank you for taking care of my cute little wife here, do keep in touch, bye now!”  
  
And with that they scuttled out, just in time for Hatori’s little six year old daughter Kinu to come running out into the foyer, tugging at her daddy’s Doctor Coat with a question as little six year olds were wont to do.  
  
“Dad, what does Summer Colored Sigh mean?”  
  
One thing Hatori knew for sure, he didn’t get paid enough for this.

\--  
Back in their room Akito and Shigure hashed out everything regarding this pregnancy. Akito let loose all her desires, her fears, how afraid she was about turning out like her own mother Ren, wondering what if the baby ends up hating her, how she felt she didn’t deserve this baby after all the pain she caused, but most of all how she still _wanted_ this very, very much yet she felt tremendously guilty for feeling this way!  
  
Shigure soothed her fears by cradling her in her arms and saying all the right words. He left the decision making in her hands and said he would go with whatever she wanted (Though he surprisingly found himself longing for this child as well, if only because it would be an amalgamation between him and Akito, a symbol of their love, something that they created _together_ that would further bind her as his)  
  
“You know Akito-san, the fact that you’re worrying yourself into a tizzy over this baby already proves that you’ll be a great mother and not anything like ‘that woman’. You know how Ren acted while she was pregnant with you?”  
  
Akito wrinkled her nose in disgust, still not all too thrilled with hearing that name come out of her husband’s mouth considering their history but she indulged him. “…How?”  
  
Shigure smiled knowingly, “She didn’t. You would have never known she was pregnant if it weren’t for your father and the maids continuously making a fuss. Any fuss she _did_ make was mainly over herself, certainly not the baby as I’m sure you’re already well-acquainted with.”  
  
Akito grimaced, that she most _certainly_ was.  
  
“Not only didn’t she not care, at times it seemed like she was deliberately doing everything in her power to go against the Doctor’s orders. Eating all the wrong foods, putting her body in precariously dangerous situations so as to make sure she had “accidents,” even drinking and smoking! Eventually it got to the point where it was too dangerous to leave her unsupervised and the maids and Akira put her on permanent bedrest. I think her mindset was that by ignoring the pregnancy and acting like she wasn’t, it would eventually go away.”  
  
Akito shivered, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. To think one wrong move, and she wouldn’t even be here right now! That woman truly was a snake, out to get her even when she was still a fetus!  
  
“Now tell me, does any of _that_ sound like the way you’ve been reacting to this pregnancy?”  
  
She shook her head.  
  
Shigure beamed while smirking, “Well then you have nothing to worry about! After all you already love it don’t you?”  
  
She was a bit taken aback by such a direct statement, however there was no denying the feeling of warmth that swelled within the pit of her womb and threatened to engulf her entire body, it was a feeling she wanted to forever be wrapped in, it made her heart sing! A light kick of her stomach in response, as if the baby itself had sensed the question and was confirming and affirming her motherly feelings didn’t help in containing her smile.  
  
She did.

\--

“Oh Akito-san it’s so exciting, you’re going to be a Mommy!” Tohru Honda, now Tohru _Sohma_ squealed in as she tackled her friend in glee.  
  
“Congratulations are in order. I had felt that your waves had been out of sorts lately Ah-chan, now we know why.” Saki Hanajima, (now Mosca) Tohru’s best friend (and now Akito’s?) clad in her usual all black gear, said calmly and very matter-of-factly as she sipped on her tea.  
  
“...T-Thanks you guys, it really means alot to hear you say that. Really.” Akito responded awkwardly, forcing a smile. She was still getting used to this whole “having friends” thing, let alone _girl_ friends! All her life she had been raised on account of Ren’s toxic brainwashing to believe that women were to be mistrusted, hated, _feared_ ; that they were evil temptresses out to steal and seduce any and all men you loved, like her mother had constantly _painted_ her out to be! Oh how wrong she was…  
  
Women weren’t evil, they were _people_ , someone she long aspired to be but wasn’t allowed. It was in these women that she managed to meet the most generous, kindest and loving people she had ever known, people Ren would never have the pleasure of experiencing because she was so wrapped up in her twisted jealousy and sick worldview.  
  
Akito had since learned that it wasn’t women that was the problem, it was _Ren_ and it always had been!  
  
“Uo-chan sends her congratulations too, she said she’s sorry she couldn’t make it, she’s just been really bogged down by that new job of hers and you know what a commute it would’ve been from where she lives! She says she really misses you though!”  
  
Akito chuckled, “Does she? Tell her the sentiment’s the same.”  
  
“Kureno-san’s wished you a hearty congratulations as well!”  
  
Akito stiffened when she heard that name. _Kureno_ … Even after so many years, some wounds seemed like they would never heal. In fact, regarding the rest of the former Zodiac members, outside of her own small circle of friends here, response to the news of her pregnancy seemed to be mixed. Some were truly happy for her and sharing in the joy of her news, having chosen to forgive and forget like Momiji (whom had just gotten married himself!) Hatori, Ayame and Ritsu. Others were tepid in their reception like Kagura, (though she had barely ever interacted with the former Boar, the girl’s close ties with Isuzu as well as her now icy and distant relationship with Tohru pretty much guaranteed where her loyalties would lie post curse) Kisa, Hiro and Yuki. And yet others still were outright hostile and made no secret that they would never forgive her, such as the former Horse Isuzu (arguably the one member she had done the most damage to) and her boyfriend Hatsuharu. They made that _very_ clear over the years as they continuously refused to attend any Banquets or Sohma gatherings where she was in the vicinity of.

It was okay, Akito had told herself. Some things didn’t deserve to be forgiven, nor could all the mistakes of the past be erased, she had learned that the hard way. But what was important _now_ was that she continued moving forward as “the new her” (As Shigure put it) and making amends by protecting everyone’s freedom. _At least I still have some people still willing to stay by my side to love and support me_ , she thought to herself as she looked over at her two friends warmly.  
  
“You live quite far away yourself Tohru-kun. How’d you manage to drag yourself back over here?”  
  
“Oh I wouldn’t miss Akito-san’s pregnancy announcement for the world, you know that Hana-chan! Don’t worry, Kyo-Kun and Shishou-san are holding down the fort! Hajime-kun is getting quite big himself too and can easily already look after himself, though I have to admit it does make me feel a little lonely… ehehee…” Tohru blushed in embarrasment  
  
“Oh that reminds me, How doth fare my most favorite little nephew?”  
  
Tohru practically jumped out of her seat at the mention of one of the 3 people her world revolves around (Before it was had always been just her mother, but now it seemed both Kyo and Hajime had readily taken and share that top spot)  
  
“Oh Hana-chan he’s _adorable_! He’s just the cutest little thing, sometimes I look at him and can’t believe something that cute exists I simply want to eat him up! He’s almost five, he’s going to be starting kindergarten pretty soon but even though he insists he’s a big boy now and can’t wait to go, I can’t help but be worried I’m afraid he’ll start missing me and Kyo-kun like crazy, he’s pretty attached to us, I just know as soon as we see him off on at the classroom he’ll start crying, he’s a pretty big crybaby despite the tough boy act he puts on!”  
  
“Are you sure you’re not mistaking you and Kyo’s attachment issues and aren’t referring to _yourselves_ there when you say you’re afraid crying will start to be involved.”  
  
“!!! I- ye-no -- th-that is!”  
  
 _Busted_.  
  
“Y-Yes….” Tohru fake cried all while Hana was gently patting her head.  
  
“There, there, the first step is admitting when you have a problem.”  
  
“B-But he really is super attached to us! He’s currently in his “Daddy’s the greatest ever and can do no wrong phase! He’s constantly training with Kyo-kun at the dojo and following him around like a little duckling, vowing that he’ll surpass him someday as the world’s greatest martial artist, he’s made Kyo - kun so proud, he practically melts like butter on the spot whenever he sees him, it’s so cute, he’s such a Daddy’s Boy it’s like having a miniature version of Kyo-kun around, what did I do to be so lucky?” Tohru sighed dreamily.  
  
Akito couldn’t help but smile fondly upon seeing Tohru’s doting mother-self, was this how all mothers felt for their children? Was she going to feel this way about her child too? She couldn’t explain it but just the thought made her bubble up in excited anticipation.   
  
“It must be nice, having someone like you for a mother… Hajime’s just as lucky to have you too.” Akito smiled warmly at her.  
  
“Oh, you’re going to be a great Mommy too Akito-san I just know it! Don’t worry if you find yourself worrying over the silliest of things, that’s just new Mommy jitters. I still remember what I was like when I was pregnant with Hajime-kun, it seems like everyday I was in tears and Kyo-kun was hysterical! It seemed there wasn’t a minute when he would leave me alone, you should’ve seen him it was the most adorable thing, he can be so overprotective!” Tohru giggled.  
  
“He better be. Otherwise I would have no qualms with discussing divorce options with the Missus and becoming Mrs. Kazuma Sohma…” Saki piped up again, still sipping her tea calmly.  
  
“Ha-Hana-chan….”  
  
“Speaking of, Ah-chan. If that twisted writer husband of yours gives you any trouble during your pregnancy just send him my way and I’ll be sure to put one of my deluxe curses on him, free of charge.”  
  
“Uh… t-thanks Saki-san, but I’m sure that won’t be necessary…” Akito sweated profusely while chuckling awkwardly.  
  
“Pity.” Saki just went back to quietly sipping her tea acting as if her all her talk about casting curses on people was just another day in the neighborhood. Akito didn’t think she’d ever be able to get used to that.  
  
“HI-HI EVERYONE, NEVER FEAR, _MINE’S_ HERE~!!!!!!”  
  
Suddenly in walked what looked to be like an overdressed maid straight out of Akihabara! All eyes immediately went on the intruder as she swung the café door open with a gusto few would dare and happily sauntered over to the table where the three girls sat.  
  
“Ah Mine-san! I’m so you could join us!” Tohru welcomed her cheerfully.  
  
“Greetings,” Saki acknowledged her with a nod.  
  
Meanwhile Akito was just sinking into her chair praying that the Earth would open up and swallow her whole.   
  
“WHERE’S THE NEW MOMMY?! THE WHOLE STAR OF THIS HERE SHINDIG JUST WAITING TO BE _EAGERLY_ DRESSED UP!”  
  
“She’s hiding over there, underneath the table.” Saki pointed out non-chalantly.  
  
 _Hanajima you traitor!_ Akito grit her teeth in frustration.  
  
“ _HIDING?!_ Non-Non, Mon-Cherie, that simply won’t do! Come on out of there and show that pretty face of yours, we’ve got work to do! Word around the block is that you’re expecting? You know what that means…” an evil glint seemed to shimmer in Mine’s glasses and her eyes became obscured as she pulled one fearful little former God out from under the table.  
  
“N-No… What…?” Akito gulped, half in fear, half in dread, she couldn’t even tell the difference by now.  
  
“MATERNITY CLOTHES!! Mine squealed, _*Gasp*_ We could make you a Mommy and Me wardrobe, won’t that just be _darling_?! Ooh I’m already remembering the time back when my cute little Hibika was still a baby, my dear husband and I used to sew the most adorable little Mommy-daughter sets, why we were the talk of the town! I used to go out with her in my little saddle, ah those were the days, kids grow up so fast ~ ” Mine sighed while dramatically taking out and waving a handkerchief as if she was in some sort of fake movie, even wiping a fake tear from her eye!  
  
“Mine-san, don’t you have your own little newborn baby to still dress up in Mommy and Me clothes to your hearts content? In fact, he had a playdate with my Rio just last week.”  
  
“Oh I _wish_ Saki-chan, unfortunately Chizu-kun isn’t too keen on dressing up and matching with Mommy, every time me or Aya try to put him into one of our works of art he just starts crying and throwing a tantrum, oh well he’s just at that age I I suppose!” Mine shrugged it off casually. “Strange though, when Hibika-chan was his age she was always cooperative, he’s just so fussy, so different from either one of us it’s a wonder he’s our kid!”  
  
“Ahahaha, he kinda reminds of Hiro-san more than anyone else! I remember this summer when we were all gathered at the Sohma Vacation House the first thing he said to me after I accidentally messed up his sandwich was “stupid woman,” just like Hiro-san used to, it was so cuteee!” Tohru piped up excitedly, looking off dreamily into the distance in nostalgia.  
  
“A switch at birth or an illicit love affair? My Mine-san, I had no idea you had such an interest in younger men, Megumi will be devasted by the news.”  
  
“Oh you know me too well Hanajima-san, please spare my Scarlet Red letter of Shame for the World to see, OHOHOHOHHOOHOHO~!”  
  
“…Eh?... Eh…? _Eh?!”_ Tohru simply swung her head back and forth rapidly in shock at this exchange by the two women, meanwhile Akito simply wanted to sink deeper into the imaginary hole she wished would appear.  
  
 _Why am I friends with them again?_ She sighed in exasperation.  
  
Still, she had to admit this was nice. Sitting like this in a trendy café with girlfriends, drinking tea and acting silly, being _normal_. If you had told the old Akito from years ago that this was where she could expect to see herself in the future, she would have looked at you like you had two heads. But it seems the path one least expected to take in life somehow finds its way of happening.  
  
 _Like becoming a mother_ Akito thought fondly to herself as she rubbed her stomach.  
  
“Yoo-hoo Akito-san, Earth to Akito-san!” Mine waved a hand in Akito’s face, quickly the raven-haired woman out of her stupor.  
  
“…Huh? Uh yes? …What were we talking about?”  
  
“Clothes for the baby, _duh_! Me and Aya are designing you a special set, consider it our baby shower gift! But first we have to know, what’s the baby’s gender?”  
  
That simple question seemed to stop Akito dead in her tracks of her happy daydreams. _Gender_ … she had to admit she hadn’t thought of that little detail, or rather she was afraid _to_ think about it.  
  
“Oh we um… w-we haven’t found out yet… Shigure and I want it to be a surprise…?” She replied nervously, somewhat weakly, however Saki could tell rather astutely from the way her hands were trembling on her teacup that this was a touchy subject for the head and quickly diverted the subject and divert she did.  
  
“I for one am a big proponent of surprises and not assigning arbitrary gender roles that are simply a construct of the cisnormative patriarchy.”  
  
“T-The what now…?” Tohru being the very mainstream Japanese girl that she was simply stared at Saki in adorably bewildered confusion at all these foreign, vaguely academic terms she was only now just hearing about.  
  
“I think what Saki-san means Tohru-san, is that gender is what you make of it, sort of like what Rit-chan does. Gender has to come inside of you and shouldn’t have to only adhere strictly to what private parts you have!” Mine explained gently.  
  
“Precisely. Take me and my Rio for example. Even though he was assigned male at birth my wife and I made sure to never put any expectations regarding his gender and always made it explicitly clear that his gender identity and presentation was his choice to make, not society’s or anyone else’s. We’ve dedicated in raising him in a strict gender-neutral environment so he doesn’t feel pressured to make a decision either way.” Saki smirked, “A relatively simpler task when you’re in a household of two Mommies. As statistics would dictate however, it’s looking like Rio will join the ranks of the majority whose gender coincides with the one assigned at birth, but who knows, he could very well change his mind sometime in the future and switch genders, or decide he has no gender or even come out as non-binary. The world is his oyster. What’s important though is that he knows that me and my wife will always support and love him no matter what his gender turns out to be, as of now he seems to identify as male so I use he/him pronouns for Rio with relative ease. But he’s only two, who knows how he’ll change once he grows up a little, at least he seems to have inherited my penchant for black nail polish and has no issues wearing it despite tentatively identifying as male, I’ve taught him well…”  
  
“Ahaha… w-well I’m not sure I understood half of what you just said Hana-chan but it seems to make sense! I’m definitely a firm believer in always being true to yourself and loving yourself, why should a little thing like body parts get in the way of that?” Typical Tohru, though not the brightest crayon in the box academically, one could always leave it to her to get the gist of any core message that had to do with love and acceptance, that was just Tohru, she was the beacon of love itself! (Back when they both had misconceptions of the other and viewed each suspiciously Akito had sarcastically likened her to the Mother Teresa, though she has since discovered more than enough human flaws in her it’s times like these when she begins to think her comparison originally made in spite, wasn’t that far off)  
  
“Anyways, no matter the gender of the child I’m sure Akito-san will love and support them regardless, because that’s just who Akito-san is!” Tohru beamed happily at her friend and it was like the sun itself had chosen to bestow a little bit of it’s light onto Akito’s dark world.  
  
Yep, Tohru sure was something.  
  
Akito wanted to make her proud.

\--

“Hey Shigure?”  
  
“Hmm…?”  
  
“What gender are you hoping our child will be?”  
  


She and Shigure were laying in bed after having just finished a whirlwind day complete with meetings and business transactions. (It seemed there was never a moment’s work to be left undone since she started taking her duties as Head seriously) She had been trying to sleep but eventually gave up as thoughts of the gender of her soon to be new-born danced in her head so she decided to consult her husband on the matter.  
  
Upon hearing this inquiry Shigure immediately sat up, set his book aside and took off his reading glasses, a knowing expression playing on his face.  
  
“Now, what brought this on?”

“Just answer the damn question!”  
  
I thought you had specifically requested to Haa-san that you wanted the gender of our baby to remain a secret till birth?” Shigure raised his eyebrows in amusement, having a change of heart?”  
  
“No! I-I’d just like to hear your thoughts on the matter, that’s all...” Akito propped herself up and sat in her favorite position of her knees held close to her chest, a position she frequently used whenever she was deep in thought or contemplating something (or during her God-years when she used to have emotional breakdowns.)  
  
Shigure simply shrugged, “Boy, girl it doesn’t matter to me as long as our child is healthy. The question should be why does it matter to _you_ so much?”  
  
She could practically _feel_ his pitch-black stare and arrogant piercing through her skin in an attempt to consume her, as if he knew her inside out. (he did)  
  
 _Damn him, damn him all to hell… I should’ve known, he’s always known me better than I’ve ever known myself!”  
  
_ “I’m just… _afraid._ That’s all.”  
  
“Afraid? Afraid of what? I thought we’ve already been through this, anything you want to share with the crowd?” Shigure now propped himself up and leaned against her side of the futon staring at her intently.  
  
“I’m afraid if it ends up being a girl _okay!_ I mean, all my life I’d been raised to believe women are distrustful, evil succubae with whom you’re always in competition with, you can thank _her_ for putting such ideas in my brain!” Akito snorted.  
  
Ah, _her_. Shigure knew exactly who she was referring to.  
  
Ren.  
  
“Yet I was under the impression you had finally gotten over that little complex of yours over the years, haven’t you made good friends with Tohru-kun and that little Psychic friend of hers? Even Aya’s wife Mine, something even _I_ couldn’t see coming! Why it was just the other day all three of you got together for some girl time! Surely you don’t still believe that and you yourself quite enjoy living as a woman don’t you?”  
  
“Of course I don’t and of course I do!” She shouted rather indignantly, slightly offended that Shigure could even suggest that she _wasn’t_! Never in her wildest dreams would she have believed she could ever be able to live like a woman, and yet here she was! It was beyond anything she could of ever hoped for and was much, _much_ better than those silly school-girl fantasies she used to conjure up back in her teenage years of what life like a woman was really like.  
  
“So then what’s the problem?”  
  
“The _problem_ Shigure is that you know my absolute worst nightmare is ending up the same as that woman and I’m just afraid that if we have a daughter we’ll just be repeating the same damn cycle, yet at the same time I think--- I think I actually _want_ a daughter, more than a son. So I _can_ prove that woman wrong and experience that mother-daughter bond I never got to have, so I can raise her and give her the girlhood I never got to experience but always and still _do_ long for! Maybe the gender of our child isn’t important to _you_ , but I want a daughter Shigure… _I want a daughter!”_ She sobbed into her knees half ashamed yet half relieved at this breakthrough catharsis she had been keeping bottled up inside herself. All this time she had been so terrified that she would be just like her own mother but wasn’t it being the exact spitting image of her to put so much value on the gender of her unborn child rather than just love and appreciate them for whoever they turn out to be? Still, she couldn’t help her feelings. And it’s not like she was so fixated on the gender of her child for negative reasons like out of jealousy like Ren was, rather she saw it as an opportunity to fix the mistakes of the past, rewrite her _own_ childhood.  
  
Maybe she was projecting, but every time she had listened to Tohru wax poetic of her late mother and the unbreakable bond they shared it just had Akito yearning even more for the unobtainable. Maybe she couldn’t and wouldn’t ever be able to achieve that with her own mother, but she at least wanted that with her child, she wanted it with _her_ daughter!  
  
“Hey, hey it’s okay, it’ll be alright Akito-san.” Shigure soothed her, rubbing her back in stroking motions back and forth as he encouraged her to let it all out in sobs.  
  
“Y-You must think I’m a terrible person… I’m nowhere _near_ fit to be a mother if I’m already molding the child to my own unreasonable expectations,” she sniffled.  
  
“Not at all, the heart wants what the heart wants after all.” He should talk, everything that had led up to this moment was all due to his own dastardly machinations.  
  
“Akito-san, maybe the gender of our baby matters to you _now_ and that’s understandable considering you’re a new mother going through pregnancy hormones and feeling all sorts of primal things but even so I’ll tell you there’s not a parent out there alive who doesn’t have some sort of expectations for their future children, regardless how much they try to convince themselves that their love is completely unconditional. Whether it’s gender, career aspirations or even just being “normal.” Shigure mockingly sneered at that last one and Akito caught on that it was a subtle dig at all the Zodiac parents who had chosen to reject their children just on account of the curse.  
  
“Whatever it is, try as we might, all children enter the world being placed with unrealistic expectations put on them by their parents. Because that’s part of being human, and as humans we can never be perfect and always screw up one way or the other, but what’s important is not being somehow incapable of screwing up as if we were some kind of perfect robot, but rather _acknowledging_ our screwups and vowing to do better by seeing the other person in front of us as a whole other human being rather than as an extension of ourselves and taking into account _their_ needs and desires. _That’s_ what truly separates the good parents from the bad parents. After all a wise woman herself once said that nobody is _born_ kind, we’re all born with selfish desires stemming from our need for survival, however we _learn_ kindness by interacting with others and seeing things from their point of view, that’s what being human is all about.”  
  
Shigure then took Akito’s chin in his hand and pulled her up, forcing her to look him in the eyes as he stared at her, intently as if challenging her.  
  
“Are you willing to do that Akito-san? Get to know and love this new life we’re bringing into the world regardless of whether it lives up to your preconceived expectations or not?”  
  
She was… She was, oh _god_ she was! “Yes, yes, yes! A thousand times yes! Of course!” She was sobbing even harder now.  
  
Her husband’s darkened expression suddenly lightened up as he cracked a smile. “Then you’ll make an excellent parent and there’s nothing for you to worry about. Now get to sleep already my dear, both you and the baby need your rest.”  
  
The former God couldn’t help cracking a smile of her own as she giggled through her tears, leave it to her husband to always know the right things to say, somehow, he could make her feel either on top of the world or the lowest of the low, what a strange dichotomous effect he had on her, he truly lived up to his namesake as a “ripple” and yet, she wouldn’t have it any other way.  
  
“Such wise words from someone who used to write erotica, Akito teased. Who’s this woman who bestowed on you such nuggets of wisdom Oh Great Sensei?”  
  
“I keep telling you I was a novelist, a novelist! It’s one of the many talents us writers possess, among other things.” Shigure waggled his eyebrows suggestively “As for the second part of your inquiry, I think I’ll leave that up to your imagination.”  
  
“Ugh, you’re gross, just go to sleep already you big dog!” Akito stuck her tongue out while playfully flinging a pillow at her husband.  
  
“Right behind you my sweet!”   
  
They huddled together under the futon getting ready to drift off into dreamland when a few minutes later Akito couldn’t help but pipe up with one more question for her husband.  
  
“Hey, Shigure…?”  
  
“Hmm…?”  
  
“Does this mean even you have expectations for our unborn child?”  
  
She could hear the reverberations of his chuckle through his chest.  
  
“Wouldn’t you like to know. ~ Now get to sleep already like a good Mommy.”  
  
Akito made a cute pouty face but eventually acquiesced to his demands, all while Shigure thought how he didn’t have the heart to tell her that the only expectation he had ever made of any future children of his was that they came from her.  
  


\--

“Well, well, well, looks like the Head Monster herself followed suit now that all the rest of the monstrosities are breeding.” Came the sneer of a woman with hair as long as a snake as she slithered out of the room she was confined to and crept up on Akito like a ghost breathing down her neck, a ghost of a by-gones past she would rather forget.  
  
When she felt that venomous breath on her neck she practically jumped! Like a deer caught in the headlights, she immediately began to put as much distance as she could between her and her so-called “mother” cradling her stomach protectively, she was already in full Mama Bear mode!  
  
“Go _away_ Ren! Your presence doesn’t affect me, you have no power here anymore!”   
  
Ren let out a cackle that sounded part threat, part mocking yet _all_ disgusting to Akito’s ears. What she wouldn’t give not to be able to listen to her anymore…  
  
“HA and you _do?_! I beg to differ. By having this child you’re just delaying the inevitable, the time when everyone will finally open their eyes and leave you like the lonely, **worthless** and _unwanted_ child you were born to be, yes even your dog Shigure! I know _you_ , you’re just using this child for mock pity points to keep everyone chained to your miserable existence!”  
  
If this were years ago Akito would be screaming by now, maybe even resorting to violence like strangling Ren or even pulling a knife on her, but Akito was different now, Akito _knew_ she wasn’t alone. She had people who loved her like Shigure, Tohru, Hana, Mine and now this child… _her_ child.

She tried to calm herself by taking deep breaths, repeating the mantra over and over again in her head _“What would Tohru do? What would Tohru do?”_ She had to be dignified, she had to be strong, even in the face of her greatest fear yet.  
  
 _I’m not a monster, I won’t be like her. Just like Kyo had the courage to stare down his biological father and break the cycle I’ll break mine! Baby, please, give me strength…  
  
_ “I’m not having the baby for me Ren. I’m having the baby for it’s _own_ sake, because they’re their own independent human being with their own thoughts and feelings that I’m eager to meet and get to know by bringing into the world and forming a new bond, one that’s supposed to be stronger than all the bonds in this world, the bond between parent and child. That’s how all parents should view their children, that’s how _you_ should have!”  
  
Ren gasped, grasping her shawl, seemingly genuinely taken aback by this sudden declaration.  
  
“Again speaking of such farce like eternal bonds? The only bond that was ever true, that ever will be true is the bond between me and Akira! That’s the only bond that was ever needed in this world, in _my_ world, till you came and ripped that all away from me!”  
  
Akito shook her head sadly, finally understanding. “If you willingly choose to remain ignorant than I can’t help you Ren, only you can decide to help yourself. But just know this Ren… Mother, no matter what you might think… I forgive you. Don’t get me wrong it’s not for your sake, it’s not even for mine but for the sake of my child. Because I realized something, I realized that I’ll never be truly free and healthy enough to become a mother unless I let go of that which was most holding me back, you were the chain that was most holding the _both_ of us back, stronger than any curse. And so I’m finally setting the _both_ of us free!”  
  
This served to set Ren off even more, she began another one of her out-of control rampages, shrieking like a banshee as if saying that she won’t allow it, she won’t allow her daughter to leave her in the darkness of her rampage! Eventually the maids had to be called to apprehend her all the while Akito simply stood her ground continuing to stare her down, looking strong and proud like a true head.  
  
It was in that moment that Akito had finally felt like a mother.

\--

The birth eventually came and went and the baby was finally brought into the world to meet its eagerly awaiting parents.  
  
Unfortunately, it was a precarious delivery, Akito lost a lot of blood and they almost lost the baby and her. Shigure was beside himself and didn’t know what he would’ve done if she didn’t pull through, luckily, they _both_ did, but not without a stern lecture from Doctor Hatori, who himself was stumped by this development.  
  
“She’s very weak, it seems I underestimated the extent of which she inherited Akira’s weak genes. This should be her first and last pregnancy, under no circumstances is she to try for another child, her body won’t be able to take it next time.”  
  
Shigure look utterly bewildered. “Haa-san, you had always said that all of Akito’s aliments were in her mind? Where is this suddenly coming from?”  
  
Hatori lent out a long grunt, putting a palm to his head in frustration. “Clearly I overlooked a great many things and made a grave clinical error… I was a young doctor then, fresh out of Medical School and you know how Akito was back then! You yourself used to encourage my assumptions and said not to indulge her, that she’ll only get more spoiled and that she was clearly faking it!”  
  
Shigure averted his eyes away sheepishly, what looked to be something very akin to guilt was evident in them. “Ahahaha... and you _believed_ me?! Come Haa-san I was a young and foolish vagabound writer myself back then, what did _I_ know?”  
  
Hatori sighed, “No I’m the Medical Doctor here, I knew she had a sick father whose problems were obviously genetic and I should have known better, the blame entirely lies with me this time.”  
  
“Well there’s no use dwelling on the past Haa-san, that’s what I like to always say! The important thing is that both she and the baby got through it okay.”  
  
Hatori nodded in agreement, offering up the tiniest of smiles at his best friend. “Akito should be getting up soon, Come on Daddy, are you ready to see your newborn son?”  
  
Shigure chuckled, “Am I ever! I feel like I’ve been waiting a long 9 months to finally meet him! I’m not sure how I’ll break the news to the wife once she finally comes to, she’ll be disappointed, she was particularly hoping for a girl…”  
  
Nothing could have prepared for Hatori for that news, the Doctor’s face looked utterly flabbergasted at the reveal. “… _Akito?!_ Wanting a _girl_ over a boy?!”  
  
“I know right, I was shocked too! But I think she saw it as her chance to redo her own sordid history and childhood with Ren.” Shigure smiled solemnly, she had certainly come a long way from the violent, temper-tantrum throwing misogynist they had both her known her to be not that many years ago.  
  
Hatori smiled at that, one of his rarer, gentler smiles that was becoming less and less rare since the curse broke and he gained a family. “Her father would be proud of the mature and kind-hearted young lady she has finally blossomed into.”  
  
“I am too Haa-san, I am too…”  
\--

Akito finally awoke to the sound of her husband’s voice and the crying screams of new little bundle of joy.  
  
“Wakey-Wakey Sleeping Beauty, you’ve been out of it for quite a while, ready to meet our little angel?”  
  
“S-Shigure… Where am I? Last thing I remember my contractions were starting and I was in the delivery room…”  
  
Recounting the previous night it began all coming back to her and Akito almost immediately bolted of bed as she recalled the events from yesterday.  
  
“Our baby…! _My_ baby! I-Is she okay?! Where is she Shigure, please tell me she’s alright!?!?” Akito was practically begging, pleading as she grabbed onto her husband’s shirt and began to shake desperately.  
  
“Whoa there Mama Bear, take it easy there now you have to be extra careful not to strain yourself, you went through a difficult birth remember? Also, _He_.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“The baby. It’s a He” Shigure looked at her apologetically.  
  
“Oh…” Akito deflated a bit at the disappointing news, she had been so sure it was a girl she _felt_ it in her blood!  
  
 _“No! Get it together Akito! Remember what you told yourself, that you would love and protect this baby no matter it’s gender! This baby isn’t an extension of yourself, they’re going to grow into their own person with their own hopes and dreams and aspirations and I **will** love them, no I already love them!”  
  
_Akito shook her head forcing a smile. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed but I’ve since learned that’s normal for every new parent, no baby comes out exactly perfect, I’ll get over it. Besides, who says we have to stop at one?”  
  
“Uh… the Doctor apparently.”  
  
Akito’s face fully fell at that. “…W-What..?”  
  
Shigure sighed, “This isn’t how I wanted to break the news to you… but, well… There were some _unforeseen_ complications in your delivery and you and the baby almost didn’t make it. Haa-san assessed the situation and he determined that you won’t be able to bear anymore children. I’m sorry.”  
  
Akito almost felt her entire world shatter by just that one sentence. Not able to have anymore children… So all her hopes for a daughter, of that mother-daughter bond, of giving a little girl the girlhood she had missed out on and rectifying the mistakes of the past ---- They were all dashed.  
  
She suddenly felt like sobbing, but not in joy for her newborn baby boy like most mothers would in this moment. No, she wanted cry in _grief_. And for a split second, she found the old, violent rage beginning to resurface and the urge to return to her old self… Damn this new life, damn everything! What was the point if she couldn’t build the one bond she had truly desired all her life?  
  
“It’s time to meet Mommy! ~”  
  
But then, there was Shigure holding a little bundle of white and cooing to it softly in that sweet voice he reserved just for her. He immediately transferred the blanket into Akito’s lap and as soon as Akito laid eyes upon that soft, adorable, sleeping angelic wrinkly and red newborn face all her fears dissipated and she immediately fell in love.  
  
And as soon as that little bundle of joy let out a little yawn and fully opened his eyes looking at Akito with big, lavender pupils so much like her own she was automatically reduced to butter. And she knew then and there that this small creature, this tiny, vulnerable, little newborn baby boy as red and wrinkly as a monkey, had her firmly wrapped around his chubby little finger. She would do _anything_ for him!  
  
She knew not to go in expecting perfection from her newborn baby, that no child was perfect. But when she gazed upon that face she decided he was about as close to perfection as the word could ever get!  
  
Strange… Was this how all new mothers felt? Was this how Tohru first felt when she gazed upon Hajime the first time? Or Saki with Rio? Mine with Hibika and then Chizuru?  
  
Whatever it was she loved this new feeling and wanted to soak it up and bask in its glow for all eternity!  
  
“He’s gorgeous isn’t he…? Takes exactly after you.” Shigure whispered softly as he saddled up to Akito’s side while gazing down at his newborn son lovingly.  
  
“Yeah… though I think he has your eyelashes? And maybe the bridge of nose?”  
  
“Mmm, nope! Still looks all you to me, like a mini-Akito! That’s alright though, it’s just the way I like it now I have two Akitos to spoil with all my heart.” Shigure said while nuzzling his head into his wife’s hair affectionately.  
  
“Oh joy… I can just imagine now how he’ll turn out with an overly possessive, overprotective spoiling manipulator for a father. Everyone will be too afraid to even come near him out of fear of your wrath!” Akito deadpanned.  
  
“Ha-ha, don’t worry honey, methinks you’ll do enough of that for the both of us! By the way, have you thought up of any names yet, or should I? I imagine most of the names you had in mind were girls’ names so… Shigure spoke carefully here, knowing to tread lightly in case it was still a sore subject for Akito. Luckily his wife was so engrossed by their newborn son that she practically forgot all her previous desire for a baby girl, as she was already cooing to him softly and even started breast-feeding him! Shigure thought she would never look more beautiful than she was in that moment with her feeding their son, gazing down at him with a look of pure affection on her face, why she looked like the Virgin Mary with Jesus himself! It was times like these that Shigure regretted he had gone into writing instead of art, otherwise he could of drew the portrait right then and there.  
  
“Mmm… how about Shiki?”  
  
“…Eh?” Now it was Shigure’s turn to be brought out of his loving stupor.  
  
“I thought up a few gender-neutral names just in case this exact scenario happened. Besides, Hanajima’s advice is that it’s healthier anyway to raise a child in a gender neutral environment without the pressure of preconceived gender roles or expectations. And Shiki seems like the best fit since it’s a combination of both our names, Shi for Shigure and Ki for Akito, it represents how Shiki is a mix of both of us.”  
  
Shigure’s heart sang at the realization that she had thought up what was practically a “shipping” name between them. How could he possibly deny her that?  
  
“Yeah, Shiki’s good… I like Shiki.”  
  
“Shiki it is then! Akito beamed, welcome to the world Shiki, Mommy and Daddy love you” Akito whispered in her son’s ear and gave it a little kiss as the newborn Shiki gazed up in curiosity at the new world around him.

\--

The years passed, Shiki eventually grew from a tiny little infant to a quiet toddler, to a still more well-behaved child and now he had finally hit the tumultuous teenage years. There had been many obstacles along the way, from Shiki’s more severe health issues inherited from his late grandfather to Ren’s constant terrorizing of the family, to Money Hungry, lawsuit-happy neglectful mothers who saw an opportunity in her child’s unending kindness and immediately swooped in to take advantage of that!  
  
Through it all Shiki remained the kind, sweet patient and angelic child who made sure to always treat others the way he’d want to be treated, just like Akito had taught him. (Lessons she herself learned from Tohru) and whose family stood beside him in return.  
  
Far from ever abandoning her like she had thought would happen once the curse broke, the former Zodiac members and their children rallied around her child, even the kids of those whom she tumultuous relationships with in the past like Yuki and Rin’s seemed to adore her son, he was the apple of the Sohma eye! It wasn’t just for Akito, Shiki seemed to represent a fresh start for the entire family, a chance for them to be there for him and when their parents couldn’t for her.  
  
As far as her own relationship with Shiki went? Though she still occasionally felt pangs for that golden daughter from time to time, Akito found it almost laughable now that she could ever hope for anyone else! Shiki was her _heart,_ the two were as close as mother and child could be regardless of gender, they were even closer than Shiki and his father despite Shigure being the stay-at home parent! Not only did they look exactly alike but Akito found they also generally had the same emotional temperament and were frequently on the same wavelength (A blessing in disguise, Akito wasn’t sure how’d she deal with another Shigure – like personality!) Akito served as Shiki’s emotional confidant, the one who he trusted enough to always go to ask for advice. Though at times she was a bit awkward at this whole “parenting” thing, Shiki was always there to assuage her fears, assuring her he loved her and that he couldn’t ask for a better mother!  
  
Still Akito couldn’t help but worry… Shiki was quiet, almost _too_ quiet. While she supposed she should count her blessings that she didn’t have to deal with the typical teenage rebellious phase nor did she have to worry about Shiki inheriting her rather ferocious temper, she couldn’t help but wonder if Shiki was _happy_. Was it normal for a boy his age to be so withdrawn? He seemed to have few close friends his own age other than Rio, Chizuru and now this new girl Sawa (the daughter of said woman who had the gall to sue him yet! Luckily Mutsuki explained the whole situation to her on how she was truly grateful to Shiki for looking out for that day and seemed to really like him, she was just stuck in a crappy situation with a shitty mother, lord knew Akito had enough experience dealing with _that_! Though Shigure still tended to give her the evil eye whenever she came around, grudge-holding and overprotective to the end that man…) but that seemed to be it. He had always been awkward in school, preferring to keep to himself, he had even been the victim of bullying a couple years back both at school and at home with the maids. (Luckily Akito and Shigure _both_ swiftly put a stop to _that!)_

He was also so placid with very few interests, certainly not normal interests most boys his age would be into. Akito supposed it didn’t matter in the long run as long as he was happy and he seemed to be, still there was something “off” about him.  
  
Never in her wildest dreams would Akito have imagined it would be anything like _that_!  
  
It was a sunny Spring afternoon; Shiki had just entered high school and had come home from his high school entrance ceremony. It was one of the rare days where Akito was finally home for once and Shigure had taken the shift.  
  
She was in her office, going over some last minute paper work when she heard the knock and soft-spoken voice at the door.  
  
“…Mother? It’s me. May I please come in? …There’s something important I have to talk to you about…”  
  
“The door’s open, come in!” Akito replied casually not even bothering to look up from her paperwork. It was only upon seeing Shiki’s pale face that she knew something was wrong and immediately dropped her work right then and there to give her child her full attention.  
  
“…What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Akito’s voice rose worriedly, already going to the worst-case scenario. Suddenly she noticed something.  
  
“Eh? Shiki you’re not wearing your tie…”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“In fact your whole uniform is messed up!”  
  
“It is.”  
  
Akito immediately leapt to her feet to inspect her baby of any scratches and begin her interrogation, again she could feel that old anxiety inducing temper rising up again. It had mellowed out in her later years but she still had her moments when she could be pushed over the edge.  
  
“What happened, did you get beat up? Attacked? Am I gonna have to make some phone calls? Why weren’t Rio and Chizuru with you?!  
  
“Calm down mother it’s nothing like that.”  
  
“But your uniform is undone! Why is it undone then?? Oh god… don’t tell me… you’re becoming a delinquent? You got in good or in trouble with some gang and now they’re trying to initiate you? Please Shiki, don’t go down that road! I know your Auntie Arisa used to be a Yankee but trust me, she got clean for a reason!” Akito was practically shaking Shiki by now.  
  
“Mother if you’d just let me get a word in edgewise…”  
  
“Oh _where_ did I go wrong? I always knew I wasn’t the best mother but where did I make a mistake like this?!”  
  
“MOTHER!”  
  
Akito was interrupted from her tirade just out of sheer astonishment! Shiki, her quiet, even-tempered always well-behaved Shiki raised his voice… for once in his life… at _her_.  
  
She fell to the ground in shock.  
  
Shiki gasped and was now shouting for a different reason “Mother?! Mother, are you alright?! I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have raised my voice like that… You’re not in the best of health either.”  
  
“Shiki… Shiki, _what’s going on_?” This was just too bizarre, Shiki was acting so strange, Akito was finally ready to hear him out.

Shiki sighed. “My uniform is messed up because I changed out of it, because I don’t like it.”  
  
Shiki her _Shiki_ expressing dislike for something for once in his life? And to the point where he _deliberately_ disobeys simply because he didn’t like it?  
  
Akito rose from the floor and immediately swept into action, putting a hand to his forehead to feel.  
  
“…Strange, you don’t seem to have a fever. Alright who are you, and what have you done with my Son?”  
  
“Your son is gone Mom… and he never _was_ here.”  
  
Akito gasped, “S-Shiki…? Wh-What are you saying…?” She was utterly stupefied by now and more than a little worried, where was this _coming_ from?  
  
Shiki sighed in exasperation, “I’m _saying_ I changed out of my school uniform because I didn’t feel comfortable in it anymore, it wasn’t **_me_** \--- … You know how I’ve always been fairly androgynous looking? How even to this day I still frequently get mistaken for a girl by those who don’t know any better?”  
  
Akito nodded tentatively, where was he going with this?  
  
“…Well I’ve since discovered that they _did_ know better, in fact they knew me better than I ever knew myself until recently.”  
  
Could it be…?  
  
“Also, you know all those times I snuck into your makeup drawer and would frequently put some on and dress up for special occasions like Summer Festivals?”  
  
It wasn’t possible…  
  
“…Well I wasn’t just playing then, in fact I never was. Mother, I’m sorry you might want to sit down for this but I can’t repress myself any longer… I’m not a boy, I’m a girl. Mother I’m trans and I’m finally coming out and I wanted you to be the first to know as the person I’m closest to in the world and the woman I always admired and strove to be…”  
  
Akito collapsed in ecstatic shock.  
  
“Mother? … MOTHER! GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, PLEASE!”  
  
“Sh-Shiki… I-I’m not dreaming, am I? …T-This isn’t a dream it’s reality?”  
  
“Oh Mother I’m so sorry! I know I’ve probably disappointed you beyond belief and I’m a failure that’s brought shame upon the Sohma name, but I figured if anyone would understand it’d be you, because I know there was a time when you were forced to conceal your true gender as well and masquerade as someone you weren’t, so surely you understand my feelings here?”  
  
This wasn’t a dream, this was reality. And it was the single most emotion she had seen her so- nay, _daughter,_ ever express in all her 15 years of life of beautiful, beautiful life.  
  
“…I- I know it’s not exactly the same thing because your genitalia were congruent with your own gender identity, but surely the feeling is the same! Please try to understand me here Mother please! I’ve never felt right, all my life I’ve felt out of place like I don’t belong. And sure, I’m sure some of that is because of the messed up home situation we’re in but the majority of it is because I was assigned the wrong gender at birth, I’m sure of this more than anything I’ve been sure of in my life mother! I know I don’t ask for much… but please mother just this one time… this one thing, please give me at _least_ this!”  
  
Shiki was full out sobbing now, her beautiful, beautiful daughter was finally expressing her emotions in full and it rivaled even the moment of her birth when Akito first laid eyes on that angelic face!  
  
As quick as lightening Akito leapt from her feet and pulled Shiki close to her chest, wrapping her up as tight as Boa Constrictor and never letting go. All this time she had been dreaming of the perfect Mother – Daughter bond that would seemingly wipe the taint of both her and Ren’s women-hating past. Turns out, that bond was right here all along, right in front of her. That time during her pregnancy when she absolutely felt in her soul that it was going to turn out to be a girl? Turns out she had been right all along. She had the absolute _best_ and most loved daughter in the world and Akito knew she wouldn’t trade her in for all the promised bonds of the world! This, this right here? Was _her_ promise.  
  
“M-Mother…? I-I take it you’re not upset at the news…?” Shiki piped up softly.  
  
Akito laughed, “ _Upset_?! Shiki dear, have I ever told you that I’ve always wanted a daughter?”  
  
Shiki’s eyes widened, but then almost immediately broke out in one of her rare but most treasured smiles, more beautiful than any Camellia flower.  
  
“This calls for a celebration, how about I try whipping something up for once? I’m thinking Red Bean Paste in honor of your newfound womanhood!”  
  
“M-Mom perhaps you don’t recall, but the last time you tried cooking the whole estate nearly burned down…” Shiki replied sheepishly.  
  
“Nonsense, that was years ago, I’m sure I’ve picked up a few skills here and there with the dozens upon dozens of cooking classes Tohru-Obasan has hosted at the dojo over the years! Now hurry and get your father on the phone, he should hear the good news too!”  
  
Shiki immediately frowned and wrinkled her nose. “What if he doesn’t approve…?”  
  
Shigure? Not approve? Akito laughed out loud, why that notion was simply preposterous! “Shiki I think you give your father too little credit, he’s actually quite progressive in his own way. He has to be, in order to be friends with Ayame don’t you think?”  
  
Shiki cracked a small grin, “…I guess you’re right.”  
  
“Besides, he knows if he _doesn’t_ accept you he’ll be in the doghouse for eternity! Now quit dawdling and go call up your father so he’ll be home by the time the paste’s prepared!”  
  
“Only if you promise to leave the cooking to the maids, which is what they’re for. I don’t need another repeat of that one time I ate at Mutsuki-san’s house when Uncle Yuki was doing the cooking.”  
  
“Help me set the table and we’ll call it even Dear Daughter of mine.”  
  
“Deal!”

Sometimes the universe worked things out in the funniest of ways. Never in a million years would the old Akito imagine she’d be able to let go of the Zodiac Bond and step outside of her role as God to live as an ordinary woman. Never in a million years could she imagine she’d have a loving family and be a mother _and_ gain the daughter she always wished for in the most round-about way possible, yet somehow, she felt this way was even better! It particularly suited her, she with whom the act of transitioning was used to do harm and denigrate women everywhere was now being brought back around to enable her child to live their life to their fullest potential and empower her own personal womanhood!  
  
Truly Akito could say that it had come full circle.

\--

  * Notes:  
  
I am firmly Pro-Choice and any disparaging marks of abortion in this fic is not a reflection of the authors views. I am simply me trying to come at it from Akito's point of view and how she'd feel about it considering she was almost aborted, I am writing from _her_ perspective, not mine. This fic does not in any way support or condone unwanted pregnancies. If you happen to find yourself pregnant and aren't ready to be a mother, Abortion is a completely valid and healthy option!  
  
Red Bean Paste is a traditional pastry dish in Japan frequently used as a celebration food when a girl finally gets her period and becomes "a woman" hence, my using it for Shiki's Coming Out here.




End file.
